Wednesday, July 18, 2012

This Hidden Side of Me

Maggie went to a private kindergarten. It was fine, twenty-five minutes away, brand new teacher. She didn't hate it, but she also didn't really learn anything. She was easily distracted and struggled with memorization. She struggled with everything. I have home video of us trying to make it through her word ring homework. She was definitely NOT a visual learner.

On the other hand, Ty, only 18 months younger, was an extremely visual learner with strong memorization skills. He taught himself to read by listening to Maggie and I do her homework. He could add, subtract and understand math concepts, as well as read, by the time he was four. But he also acted out when he got bored. Like stick someone's head in the toilet acted out. Not good. He cried if I put him to bed when his room was untidy. He needed structure and a challenge.

When Maggie "graduated" K5, she still didn't know all of her letters and could care less about math. And the private school went up on tuition. We simply could not afford it. But the public school we were zoned for was a mess. The police were called to the middle school almost twice a week and the middle school shared a building with the elementary school. The test scores and reputation for our zoned school were appalling. It was not an option. What's a parent to do?

Our small group leader at church had just started homeschooling the year before and I mentioned to him that we were leaning towards it. I had no idea that the other family there that night would react the way they did. The father started screaming, not talking loudly, screaming, at me. The mother started crying hysterically. How dare I pull my kids out of the private school? Didn't I know that because of people like us the school was in danger of closing its doors? Did I not even care about all the other families? Why was I being so selfish? He went on a ten minute rant until our leader could get him under control. Ever since then, I have been afraid of that kind of a reaction. It's only happened once since but it still leaves its mark. I've also had people, adults, make fun of my kids for our choice to homeschool. I don't understand why though.

I once overheard an acquaintance from church made a comment about how if those people really loved their kids they wouldn't send them off to some public school. I immediately pulled her aside and lovingly reproved her. She, and I, have zero right to make that kind of a statement about someone else's life. We are not the Holy Spirit and cannot make condemning, blanket statements like that. It puts that person under the weight of a law that God did not institute. That in itself makes it wrong.

People who meet us for the first time have no inkling that we homeschool. We don't advertise it. If someone asks about school, we freely tell them that we homeschool but I'm always on my guard for the ones that get offended. I've only had 2 people yell at me about it but countless others take it personally for some reason. I've even been told a few times that I was crazy.

In talking with a good friend, oh about five years ago, he gave me some advice. Now this friend was still in college, unmarried and had graduated from a public school system. After stating that if he had children right then, at that moment, and had to choose, he would definitely homeschool. BUT, he said, but he would be very careful about socialization. I asked him what HE meant by that and he explained, "I would make sure that my kids spent time with people who are different than them. Kids who were not raised the same way and have a different way of living life." He made an impression on me.

So many people, myself included, want to protect our kids, keep everything perfect and right and good all the time. But by doing so, I isolated them from the very people Christ sent us to share the gospel. That's a blog for another day.

I wonder if anyone else has had experiences like ours.

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