Post Number 1 or Introduction to My Insecurities

I could have just as easily titled this blog Square Peg Round Hole or Keep it Secret, Keep it Safe. It occurred to me the other day that I have a bit of a complex about homeschooling. No, not just homeschooling, about having lots of kids too. I feel the need to apologize to people for some reason. I don't really own the path upon which God has set my feet. This blog is the first step in making that right.

I will introduce myself for anyone who might not know me. My name is Crissy (full name, not short for anything). I am married to Chris (I call him Love Monkey). We have four children: Maggie, 16, Ty, 14, Gracie, 11 and Brody, 9. We have been homeschooling for a decade.

I am sitting on my Ikea couch in my small living room in my house in Alabama, praying. I am praying about the coming school year and the curriculum and the future of my children, Maggie especially.

I think every mother worries about their oldest child. My friend Gordon says, "We always over-parent our firstborn." He's right. I am riddled with fears about my oldest. Have I taught her well? Have I taught her enough? Is she prepared for college? Is she going to grow up and wish that we had parented her differently? Blah Blah Blah. I make myself tired.

If you are looking for a pep talk or a try-harder-do-better blog, this is NOT your destination.  If you are looking for someone to paint everything rosy and tell you "YOU CAN DO IT!", this is not your Mecca. But if, for that one person who is just starting out or feeling overwhelmed and would like some company, welcome.

I do not have all the answers. I do not even know all of the questions. But I do know that homeschooling my children, being with them 24/7, and being responsible for their worldview, socialization and education is the most joyous, terrifying, overwhelming, blessed experience of my life and I love it.

Disclaimer: *because I am afraid of people thinking ill of me*
I do not think that if you love Jesus/angels/your children that you will homeschool. At all. Period. That is all I have to say about that.